Here’s an unusual product that I’ve decided to review on my own free will.
It’s the Kleenex Ultra Soft Moist Toilet Tissue!
Let me tell you a really funny story as to how I ended up with this product!
Two weeks ago, I was in Arizona for a conference. Arizona, unlike Singapore, is very dry. Whenever I go to a dry climate, my nose will bleed very badly. So that’s the background you need to know.
Now the story begins: One day, I was defecating in the comfort of my hotel room toilet. Unfortunately, the toilet flush broke and the toilet simply wouldn’t flush. Worse of all, the air conditioning didn’t seem to be working, and it was blowing hot air throughout the entire time. As I was trying my best to fix the flush, the worse thing happened! My nose started bleeding profusely! It was a huge mess!
One painful hour later, I managed to get the air conditioning working, the toilet to flush once again, and yes, I cleaned up all the blood.
I decided to rant about this incident on Facebook.
Somehow, after that post, Facebook concluded, with all it’s “wisdom” derived from Big Data, that I am a woman with a bad menstrual problem. I guess the keywords, “blood” and “toilet”, made it think so (I don’t know how their algorithm works, but that’s my guess).
Anyway, Facebook started flooding me with ads on sanitary pads and tampons ever since that post.
Anyway, among all menstrual advertising, one particular advertisement stood out – well, of course it stood out, it had absolutely nothing to do with menstruation.
It was the Kleenex Ultra Soft Moist Toilet Tissue. It’s a wet wipe specially designed for you to wipe your butt after a poop, and best of all, it’s flushable! The product claims that it will disintegrate after you flush it, so no worries about it clogging your pipes!
They were offering free samples (in fact, as of this moment, they still are offering free samples, so why not give it a try?), and I decided this might be worth experimenting!
I placed my order, and got my free samples two days ago.
Here’s what I received:
Now, according to the instructions, it seems that I’m supposed to do a dry wipe with normal toilet paper, followed by a wet wipe.
I made sure I wiped myself clean using normal toilet paper. After which, I took out one of the Kleenex wet wipes.
To my surprise, there was a lot of poop stains on the wet wipe!
OH CRAP! WHERE DID ALL THAT COME FROM? DIDN’T I WIPE MYSELF CLEAN?
I had wiped myself very thoroughly with the toilet paper! So how is it that there’s still so much poop left to wipe?
I had to use a few of the wet wipes to wipe myself clean.
I did this experiment a second time. Again, I made sure I wiped myself clean using normal toilet paper, and proceeded to use the wet wipes as a finishing touch. And again, there’s still a lot of poop stains on the wet wipes.
Wow… This is both very surprising and disturbing. If you took a poop, and wiped yourself clean with toilet paper, you’d still have a lot of dung stuck to your butt, and it’s probably rubbing between your butt cheeks and underwear without you realising it. Eeew!
I guess their claim that it cleans twice as effectively is quite well substantiated.
This product, however, is not perfect. My problem is that the wet wipe tears every time I pull it out of the packet. It’s packed too tightly. But thankfully, the wet wipe doesn’t tear when I wipe. That was one of my fears, which I’m so glad, didn’t actualise.
Anyway, I really like the feeling after using the wet wipes. I feel really really clean. It’s a nice feeling to have.
Will I start using it from now on?
Yes! I’m going to stock up on this! It’ll come in very handy whenever I’m out of the house. Of course, bidet sprays are better, but they’re not available in all toilets. (My office toilet used to have one, but someone broke it, so I only have toilet paper available)
After learning from this experience that toilet paper only gives the illusion of cleanliness, I am too grossed out to ever want to stick with toilet paper alone. There’s no going back.