Wow… I haven’t posted anything in the past week. I’ve been really really REALLY busy. The irony? It’s the holidays! Well, I’m not surprise (and I guess my friends aren’t either). If I’m not busy with school work, I’ll probably find something else to busy myself with.
Ok… Before I talk further about this, the other day, I was on the train and a couple was debating how the word “adrenaline” should be pronounced. The girl kept insisting that it’s pronounced: “a geraldine,” while the guy kept trying to correct her. They were debating really loudly about this. I guess the passengers in the carriage were treated to a free pronunciation lesson. I just buried my face in my palms, wondering to myself how the girl spelt the word. There’s not even a consonant in the word that sounds like a ‘g’ or a ‘j’!
The Girlfriend thinks that the reason why I enjoy piling lots and lots of work on my plate is because I enjoy the adrenaline rush from having to meet all sorts of deadlines. I think she’s right!
Compared to doing nothing, when you have stuff to do, there’s always a bunch of goals, objectives, and deadlines to fulfill. It’s like gaming, except that it’s real. It’s not anything like Half Life. No, it’s better than Half Life – it’s REAL LIFE! (Ok, maybe there aren’t any aliens, but still!) The ultimate game where you get only one life to live, and you assign your own missions to accomplish!
Yes, I admit it – I am a workaholic. BUT! I LOVE work! I love the rush that deadlines give! I love the sense of purpose you get when you have stuff to do. But more than anything – I love the beautiful product at the end of the day: be it something I cook, an essay, a poster, a newly-designed website, or some web application that I just developed. It’s all great! At the end of it all, there’s nothing more satisfying than to take a step back after all that’s been done, heave a sigh of relief, and just admire the product.
Nevermind the fact that there is/might be flaws! If there’s one thing I learnt from Japanese aesthetics, it’s this – there is a special beauty in imperfection, for it reminds us of how real things are. It reminds us of how real the beauty is. Beauty, as a perfection, is nothing more than an abstract concept that has stripped away all concrete particulars, and thus, all the necessary imperfections that make them real. The imperfections exist to complement the perfections. It exists to remind us that perfect beauty is unattainable in this world, and that we have to learn to appreciate the beauty of the thing as it is – with its perfections and imperfections. It’s like learning to appreciate wine. The first time you taste it, you’d probably go, “YUCKS!” But when you learn to appreciate that “imperfection” as part of the package that makes it beautiful, over time, it ceases to be a “YUCK”, but a “YUM!” Everything’s beautiful – even that one bit that sticks out like a sore thumb! But it’s a beauty that takes time for one to come to appreciate.
But anyway, I digress.
I have tons of stuff to do, and though I may be stressed, I will never give it up only because I love the challenge. Doing up a todo list every day, and slowly cancelling them out bit by bit throughout the day has a really satisfying feeling. It’s a motivator that reminds you of the limitless possibilities of what one can do and achieve in a single day. If one can do so much in an hour, how much more in a day? And for that matter, how much more in a month, or a year?
One of my friends commented that since the average life span is about 70 years, we have about another 50 years to do something really amazing with our lives. It’s a really cool thought. The game will end in about 50 years time (I’m 25 now). That’s a lot of time to do all kinds of things, experience all kinds of experiences, and learn all sorts of lessons from various people and experiences. (As I type this, I’m feeling really excited about life right now!)
That’s the beauty of life. As long as you’re still alive, it’s not yet game over. The possibilities of what one can do is just beyond our wildest imaginations. I used to find that scary because I’m not in control of how I want it to turn out. But over the years, I’ve learnt that we never had complete control over how things turn out anyway. But that’s ok since our preferences and expectations of things in life change with every unique situation that life presents us. We don’t really know exactly what we want in life because our preferences and expectations are always evolving! Having spoken to many people of different ages, I’ve come to realise that no one really knows what he/she really wants in life.
Personally, I think that’s what makes life so exciting! We go about trying to find what we want in life but we can never find what that thing is. Yet, in that process of searching, we uncover and experience all kinds of things that colour our lives with all kinds of memories, emotions, lessons, and experiences.
That’s why I love doing all kinds of things so that I can explore the various paths that life can open up with every “YES.”
And the adrenaline rush that goes along with it – OH YES! There’s never a dull moment – every single day is just as exciting!